haix..think recently i've been thinking bout lots of stuff.....sometimes i just feel tat i'm so lost..so confused.....and i feel that i've got lots of reflecting to do toox~ =( its like..i just feel so down sometimes..so low on my self-esteem that somehow i'm so afraid to talk to ppl~~...i guess many ppl think i'm always so happie and seem to have no worries but..no...that's not true......i'm not perfect and i have to fight my own demons too~! haix~....sometimes, i just wish..i can be as confident as other ppl...but no matter how hard i try..no matter what i do, i just seem to slip back into my nervous self sometimes..and i feel so small....so weak! =( *haix*~...but through it all...i know Jesus's my strength and shield..and the reason y i can go on smiling too....ya..but i just feel recently that i've been too distracted by things going on around me..relationships, friendships...sometimes i just dwell too much on it and neglect the more important stuff going around me...arg..what's happening to me~~! =( i dun wish to feel this way anymore..i don't wish to be so self centered and selfish anymore too!! ARg...help me Lord...i need to be a better person...a way better person~~ and i know i can't do it on my own strength...take over Lord will u~? help me to be who u want me to be....tat's reallie the desire of my heart Lord...thankq Jesus....just lift everything into yr hands Lord...thanks so much~...=) okie....think gotta go rest now...take care peeps..God bless~~