who am i~?? am i living a life worthy of God's call and purpose too~?? ....i dunno....sometimes i reallie feel very tired too...looking back, i've seen how much God can change a person...someone who has been so proud..so "hAo liAn"..=P so terrible and evil..into someone totally the opposite..yaa..that person's me! =P without Jesus, i know i won't be who i am today...i know many ppl think that how come i don't seem to get angry....and yaa..y i'm so smiley all the time..well..the matter of fact is...before i reallie knew Jesus, oh man....i got angry almost every single minute of the day...i was so so damn proud, nobody ever liked me...! and i didn't have any true friends too..even in church..nobody wanted to be near someone like me...but oh man..when i reallie started to know Jesus..i remember that night, when God's presence just seemed to saturate my soul..when i felt His love for the first time..wow..i knew at that moment something happened in me..and ya! =) that night, every single bit of pride in me fell away...i learnt how to humble myself..and how to depend on Jesus's strength too~...and thank God, He changed me into someone different..someone totally opposite from who i was before..yaa...how can i ever forget something like that?..=) but now..i dunno...with all the responsibilities in camp..in church..sometimes i just feel the world crashing down on me too...i feel i'm making so many more mistakes...haix..and somehow no matter what i do, things never seem to get better too!..its like a never ending tunnel k~...and sometimes, others get angry with me too..and ya, what can i say~? its my fault...but i do feel my own anger rising up sometimes..i feel like hitting back..shouting back..defending myself...but that's the old me~!...and no way, i never ever wanna go back to the past!...yaa...there're times when the words almost come out of my mouth...but when i remember..all the God's done for me, how i can never do anything without the strength of God too..i know that i've gotta humble myself..and just take it..cause in the end..its not what ppl think of me..but reallie what God thinks of me too..and i've gotta change for the better too!..Lord..help me to rise up..help me to overcome Lord..to come out of this and be a better person~~..there're times when i feel so tired..so sick of doing the right things all the time..but reallie thank God for His encouragement and strength ba..that yup, i know truely that someone who has character, someone who's reallie nice....is someone who'll do the right thing and sacrifice for others even when he or she dosn't feel like doing so~...so yaa..help me Lord...help me to be that person Father! take over!!...ya..think that's bout it for now..take care peeps..God blEss..