I guess i've grown...yea...not on the outside..whaha..but on the inside! =) hAa~ =P well..dunno..but just recently i've been looking back at this whole yr..its like..time really flies! one yr's up so quickly and yeah...i guess i've changed..and i'm not afraid to admit it too! =) i still remember...all the way from sec school till ya, even this year..i've always lived in fear...fear that ppl'll be offended..that ya, i'll always make the ppl i care about so unhappy....ya, because of who i was last time before God changed my life...and ya, i was always "Mr Nice Guy"...always smiling, happie, ya...meek, mild...harmless...i guess there was nothing wrong with tat~...but one thing i learnt..that bro derrick taught me too....nice guys don't change the world....but strong and decisive guys do! I thought bout it..and i realised how true was it...because of this fear, i was never able to rise up...everytime i lived in insecurity...low self esteem...and ya, it was time to break out, break free of all these things too! yEp..and thank God ba..during this year...along the way i feel God has taught me many important lessons in life too..yep..=)

Guess..the very first thing i've learnt was that i couldn't please everybodie...yaa...sometimes, no matter how hard i tried to accomodate everyone, nope...there's never a solution that everyone accepts..but ya...i've had to learn to be strong..and to be decisive too!..yep..even if ppl didn't like certain things...so be it ba...but yup, thank God for his wisdom and strength and His favour in my life too! =) and ya...there were times i had to be firm...and..before, i would never even dare dream of being firm ever again~..cause of the terror i was..cause i was afraid that pride would rise up once again in my life...ya..but yup, thank God i've broken free from all tat! =) guess...my friends all say i'm still soft spoken and ya..nice..but hey, i'll be firm when i need to k! =P hee ..yup..but through it all...i've realised that heey, there's freedom...freedom in God! =) freedom to express myself...freedom to do what i wanna do as long as its within God's will too! =) and yupp, thank God for everything! =)

but ya..i guess..the most important thing i've learnt was in the area of my relationships too....yup....never once was i truely free in love....it was more of fear in my life tat i'll always wanna do everything i can for my friends too..and ya...in the end, i'll always worrie more than i loved..because i was so insecure bout myself...my charactor and everything too! but yup, thank God so much..i've learnt to discover self worth too ba...and ya...a sense of security too..bout my character, bout my person..and i've learnt to just be me! =) Lord..i pray..i just pray u'll help me to have perfected love ba...cause i know..daddy father...u loved me first! =) and i know that yr love knows no ends too..thankq so much for everything Lord...~ =) I know there's still so much more to go in me..but yup, i'll keep on working..i'll keep on growing...help me to be the man u want me to be Lord! =) that's the cry of my heart..yuPp...i wanna rise up...i wanna start making a difference once again..and now's the time! yeah!

thanq Lord..i know i've changed...=)