rAdicaL~

2012-02-07T03:28:00.000+08:00

Came face to face with a friend's stalker today.

I've never felt so pissed all my life. On one hand, its really worrying.. on the other hand, looking at that guy's face.. how could someone so old stalk someone so young?

My God.. :(

rest

2012-01-27T05:47:00.002+08:00

When things get tiring and overwhelming.. sometimes, a good rest would really help so much. :)

the yongseo couple :)

2012-01-18T04:40:00.001+08:00

Been watching this show recently, its seo hyun and yong hua on "We got Married". :)

This couple's really sweet! Even though its just a marriage for show, the things that both of them did for each other, it's definitely something out of their hearts, and its something that so many of us could learn from I guess..

I don't really know how to summarize the show, haven't watched finish either.. haha, but there's something really heart warming about their journey together. Maybe because its very real, its very authentic.. the emotions they went through and the things they did that eventually broke down all the walls between them. :)

Here's the song they composed together too.. :)

effortless?

2012-01-14T03:11:00.001+08:00

I've always envied charismatic people.. those who look good so effortlessly, speak and relate to others so naturally and all.

Honestly, there's so much I that I'm lacking in that department.. its never been easy, and its still not easy for me sometimes.. :/

But thank God for His strength, His values that I hold on so strongly to.. its really through reading the Word, and through that daily walk with Him, that I can come out and speak and do things more confidently too. Without God's help, it wouldn't have been possible.

I guess, when the Bible says that "when I'm weak, He's strong", I think now, I can really relate to what the Bible says. It takes lots of humility sometimes, but step by step, I know God'll help me through. :)

smile

2012-01-10T02:33:00.000+08:00

You're so beautiful when you smile.. :) Find that light again alright.. don't give up. :)

Music

2011-12-30T03:54:00.003+08:00

Music.. its something that I treasure so much.. simply love it.. :):)

I don't know why, but time seems to pass by so quickly, whenever I'm playing on my keyboard or guitar.. it just seems like its something I could go on and on doing without ever getting tired and sick of it..

I really wish that its something I could do for life. What a dream come true if it could happen! but at the same time, its so hard to find any openings in our little sunny island too..

But I trust in You to guide my path Lord. This gift, its in Your hands. :)

Christmas!

2011-12-23T04:14:00.000+08:00

Christmas is coming up in a few days time! :D

Its the best time of the year for me.. I just love the gatherings, the nice little gifts, and especially the cards.. they do mean a lot to me. :):)

Looking back at 2011.. I guess its been an awesome year.. I've grown as a person through different challenges, I think I'm a different, more positive person now.. really thank God, and thank you friends who have helped me along and just been there for me through my toughest times.. you guys rock! :)

I know there're still things I've to work on.. (like speaking louder right egg cousin?) haha and so much to improve on, but I believe 2012 will be an even greater year..

I guess, if there's one thing I've learnt, its that if we work really hard, and do things for the right reasons, God will never ever short change us.. Never. :)

Hands

2011-12-14T01:02:00.001+08:00

"Abba, I can't move your hands.. move mine." :)

That was the very first revelation I had when I started to play guitar for cg and all.. I'm glad I was reminded of it today.

Thank You. :)

God's children

2011-12-09T05:15:00.004+08:00

The bible says in matthew 22:39, that we should love our neighbors as ourselves.

This means that we have to love our neighbors the same way we love we ourselves.. and in order to love others effectively, we must first feel that we ourselves are worthy to be loved.

I guess its been such a struggle for me.. growing up in a Christian family, I've always known since young that I'm God's beloved child, that God loves me so much.. but somehow, its never translated deep into my heart, the depths of His love for me.

I've always thought.. "yup I know I'm God's child, I know that He loves me.. but at the same time, everybody out there's God's child.. God loves everybody out there as well.. so what makes me so special?"

But thank God for today.. as I was praying about it.. I'm happy that I was reminded, that while we're all God's children, God has given us each something unique, something special that makes us different from the rest.

When I look at myself.. the gift of music that God's given to me.. no matter how lousy I can feel about myself, I know for sure that music is a gift that God has placed upon my life. So now, I'm not just God's beloved child.. but I'm God's beloved musical child, and its something I can be glad about. :)

Everyone of us has a unique talent.. something that comes so naturally to us, a talent that mixed with hard work, can accomplish many amazing things. :) Its not just God's gift to us, but its also God's love for us, that He gave us a gift that only each one of us has.

If we can be secure in God's love for us.. we can take that step to freely love once again.. :)

Silent words

2011-12-06T06:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, the best words.. are those that are kept in the heart.

Certain hopes and desires when spoken.. it loses its meaning and becomes a show. But if we can keep it in our hearts, God sees, and good things will happen, in its time. :)

rainy days

2011-11-27T04:09:00.003+08:00

There's something warm and fuzzy bout rainy days.. and having it at this time of the year makes it all the better.. :)

being alone

2011-11-22T03:24:00.003+08:00

I used to love being alone.. just by myself, quietly going about things.. I don't know if that was a good thing or bad thing..

I guess I still do feel comfortable being by myself.. but yet, I've also learnt the importance of having good friends around me.. and building good relationships too..

I know I've got to break out of that shell, somehow. I hope I'll find an answer soon. :)

thankful :)

2011-11-14T00:48:00.004+08:00

Recently.. I was just looking back, thinking bout the things that I'm doing now, and the journey that I took to get to where I am today.. :)

I'm thankful, that I've been given opportunities to really make a difference on a big scale.. and really, if you know me, I think no one would have ever expected me to be in this position today.

But looking back.. I'm so thankful for the people that opened doors for me in my life. They weren't big shots.. neither are most of them my very close friends. But they saw something in me, something worth believing in and they saw that there was something in me that I could contribute to others, even when I didn't know it myself.

I know it seemed like small acts, what they did for me at that time. But its the accumulation of these small acts, that has blessed me in a big way.

So thank you. Really thank you friends. :)

opening up

2011-11-08T03:14:00.003+08:00

It does feel good to be able to share your heart to someone. :)

I'm so glad that for the first time, I could open up to a leader whom I respect and trust.. :) I guess its so much better knowing that someone else knows what you've been through, rather than you having to face it alone.

Its the first step in the right direction. Many more to come, but I will get there. :)

to an awesome friend..

2011-11-03T23:53:00.003+08:00

Even though things around us have changed, and maybe we've also changed.. but you'll always be a really treasured friend to me. :)

lets always stay happy.. :)

standing strong

2011-10-30T03:50:00.002+08:00

We've got to know.. that other than God and us, there's something else out there.

Its not just one person, but an army. They're despicable, looking to drag us down at every opportunity, kick us when we're down, accuse us for every fault we have.

But the bible says that we already have the victory. We've got to stand strong and fight.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind."

2 Timothy 1:7

remembering a promise

2011-10-27T01:08:00.005+08:00

At this stage of the semester.. sometimes everything gets so stressful that we feel like dropping it all..

But I remembered the promise I made to myself at the beginning of this sem, that I wanna do so well.. I wanna get my A's. So whatever it takes, burning mid-night oil and all.. I'll do my very best to make it happen.. oh God, please strengthen me!

Let's keep going friends.. Let's keep fighting.. :)

a divide..

2011-10-24T00:56:00.002+08:00

I attended a friend's wedding at suntec today, and decided to drop by NCC together with some other friends too.. :)

It was a nice experience, the presence and the love of God.. its awesomely real over there. :) took away some really important truths from the service too.

But one thing's for sure.. the foundations of CHC and NCC are distinctively different.. and I think I can understand now, that if you embrace one message, there's no way you could continue to stay in the other..

Maybe sometimes there may be questions.. that if CHC and NCC are exact opposites of each other, why would God move in both..? surely one must be right and the other must be wrong..?

But I guess, that's why there's God's grace, that moves beyond the methods of Man, and into the motives of the heart. And both churches, regardless of the methods, both have a great heart for God.. :)

Grace

2011-10-19T23:56:00.001+08:00

The Grace of God.. what an amazing gift! :)

It says in the Bible, that God made us in His image and in His likeness.. this means that within our soul and our beings, we have the same character and make-up as Him. :) We long to love, we have the ability to create.. we have that desire to do something great with our lives. But the thing is.. along the way, we fell.

The image and likeness that we have is no longer a full image and likeness. Even though we still have the same desires.. the ability to produce results consistently always fails us. Even after we've been saved, the image and likeness that we have is still not fully God's image, because of our fallen nature.

But that's why there's Grace. :)

What Jesus did on the cross, it wasn't just a physical price of judgement that God paid for us. It was an action of grace. And now, because of this grace that has been given to us.. it gives us the possibility to do so much more with our lives. Grace makes up for the deficiencies that our image and likeness has to the one that God has created for us.

Its really important to know, that now, because of His grace, all things are possible. If we have a desire to be a blessing.. its possible. If we desire to achieve something really great, its possible. We don't have to feel that its beyond our strength and abilities, that we're only human, not God.. and we have to live and be content with limitations.

As long as what we desire and set out to do glorifies God, whatever we want to do, we can. :)

battles

2011-10-14T05:51:00.002+08:00

Tremendous battles.. it can only be fought if You're by my side.

Lets do this together, Abba. :)

I miss..

2011-10-06T04:26:00.015+08:00

I've had a good friend ask me recently.. whether I would ever wanna get attached anytime soon.

honestly, I really do wish to find someone that I could share my life with. I really miss those feelings, where you know that someone cares about you the way you care about them too..

I guess most people may not know.. but I've also been through my fair share of heart breaks. I've never been fortunate in love. Even when I thought I had found someone that I really cared for, the "system" broke us up. I don't blame anybody for the things that happened.. maybe God really had a better plan for us.

Ever since then.. its been hard.. :(

But looking forward, I feel that if I were to enter into a relationship, it would be with someone that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. I guess its really different from the thought that just because we find each other attractive, we enter into a relationship to try out and see if things would work out..

I'm sorry friends, if I'm taking too long! haha :P But I really just want to be sure this time round.. :) I believe that just as God opens doors of opportunities for us at the right place and the right time, when the right one comes along at the right time, I'll know.. :)

memories

2011-10-01T03:55:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was my birthday! :) I just wish to tell everybody who celebrated with me, and friends who wished me, bought gifts and wrote cards for me, thank you so much.. really thank you. :)

I guess getting wishes from friends, having gatherings and all.. it really made me think bout some groups of friends that I was close to in the past.. my JC mates especially. The memories were great.. the amount of fun and things that we did together.. I'll never ever forget. :):)

I had really good friends who stood by me unconditionally.. those moments, those friendships were some of the best one could ever find.. :)

Maybe now things are different, everyone has a different life to lead now.. but to those memories, I'll cherish them. Thanks guys.. and hopefully one day all of us could hang out again, like in the past. :)

Tests and Exams

2011-09-19T22:40:00.003+08:00

Tests and exams are coming up real soon! :'( time really flies once the semester starts..

haha, I guess these few weeks are all about studying, so there's very little to blog about.. unless people wanna read about Vibration theory, or Dynamics and Control theories.. :P

But I'm really hoping and believing that I can do well this sem after last sem's disaster.. gotta work really hard for it. Pray for me if you can! Thank you! :):)

A's

2011-09-19T05:17:00.004+08:00

This's what I'm aiming and working hard for.. I believe. :)

its coming!

2011-09-10T04:59:00.002+08:00

The nord's on its way from sweden!! The nord stage, its really something else.. compared to a lot of other keyboards I've played. Maybe I'm one step closer to my dream of taking music outside the church.. hoping and believing! :)

I'm thankful to my dad for this blessing.. really thankful. :)

NORD

2011-09-07T00:05:00.001+08:00

This day's becoming a reality soon!! :D

surrender

2011-09-03T04:13:00.003+08:00

Its a big picture today!! :) but I guess it illustrates the cry of my heart..

Abba I surrender who I am to You. I won't just give who I am to You.. I'll surrender it to You. :)

Just today, I was looking through my other blog.. (yes I do have another blog!) Its a super important blog to me.. somewhat like a personal online diary, and its filled with values and lessons I've learnt in life since like ages ago.

I just came across a thought I wrote down.. something that Pastor Kong said before, that "Satan cannot touch whatever that's been surrendered to God." And it just hit me.. maybe that's the answer I've been looking for all these while.

Ever since I came back from my holiday to HK, I've never really felt the motivation to get started again.. I guess after a trip of pampering and enjoying myself overseas, coming back to reality in Singapore really hit me hard.. and to make it worse, all these while, I tried to run on my own strength, to get going once again based on my own abilities..

I guess I forgot about surrendering to Christ once again. I guess I thought giving my life to Him and surrendering it to Him's the same thing.

I'm glad that I was reminded about this once again.. I'll surrender to You once again Abba, not my strength, but Yours in me. :)

Sincerity

2011-08-29T01:56:00.002+08:00

Have you encountered people who look nice, sound nice, feel nice, but just seem to leave you hanging in the end?

That's a person doing what he/she's supposed to do as part of his or her job or responsibility, but there's zero sincerity. No desire whatsoever to see things through.

I guess.. that's one of the reasons why I don't really like to interact with insurance agents, or people who have a product to sell.. because somehow, every word has a motive behind it. When it comes to a result based interaction, no matter how you want to make it sound sincere, the true intent of the words show.

I won't say where or who, but dear friend, please don't go down this path. Please don't.

prayers

2011-08-26T03:27:00.005+08:00

my friend told me that I always tend to say everything's okay when its not.. I guess she's right.. :(

I guess this season's not one of my better moments.. but even if I wanted to, how do I share with others? These struggles are something that I don't even know how to put into words.

Only God could understand.. I'll pray until my breakthrough comes.

Comparison

2011-08-14T22:01:00.003+08:00

God is fair.. He is. :)

Sometimes we compare, sometimes we think.. so and so is better looking than us, so and so is more talented than us.. and this kind of feelings can lead us to question our self worth and our importance.

I struggled with this for a really long time.. but along the way, I've realised that the most important thing is not our talents, but its that our talents can carry the presence of God. That's the most important thing, because even if we have limited skills, even if our abilities are limited, a little becomes much in the Master's hands. :)

A friend told me before.. that she's not afraid to sing in church because in the church kind of setting, as long as there's a sincerity in worship, as long as there's love, God's presence will make sure everything's okay. :) That's really true.. and one thing I know, is that God's presence is not just restricted to church! But even when we're outside, when we use our gifts and talents, God's presence will similarly touch the unsaved and the unchurched.

I know many people say that I'm someone rather gifted with musical talents.. but you know, the truth is that compared to many other musicians, I don't have their level of skill. I don't have the level of technicality to mix it with the best. If there's only one thing I have.. I guess its that ability to know what note is played from an instrument, and also to transfer melodies in my heart out into the instrument that I'm playing.. but that's pretty much about it!

But every time i'm out there, i'll tell myself, "It doesn't matter where we play, lets bring down the presence of God, together with the rest of the team." To me, this is music. Not whether the team has been tight or not, not whether I've played the correct notes to impress, but whether God's presence could touch the people through our playing. If any mistakes has been made.. I'll tell myself to be humble and learn from it, but if the presence is there, that's good enough for me.

This is music for me. Whether I'm playing in church or outside church, this is my mission.

Each of us will have our own reasons and missions.. but for me, when I think about it this way, all the comparison goes out of the window. I know I don't have to be afraid of what others think, or what others feel.. because the presence of God's able to accomplish what I've always wished to be able to do in the first place, to be a blessing. :)

If there's an important truth we've got to know.. its that our talents and abilities will never be able to restrict God. If we do badly, will God be stopped by our mistakes? Conversely, if we do really well.. but God doesn't want to move, will our talents and abilities make Him move? Probably not.

I guess the most important thing is our heart.. if we have a heart for God, and a heart for people, and if we remain humble in our gifts and talents, His presence will come, and God will enable us to be a blessing. :)

So lets not compare anymore! God will do wonders with our gifts, to each our own. :)

tired

2011-08-10T04:22:00.003+08:00

I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to be a blessing, of trying to balance this delicate act called life.

I'm tired of making others feel happy at the expense of myself, I'm tired of constantly sacrificing for others.

I'm tired of everything.

that's why there's Grace.

being humble

2011-08-03T13:48:00.005+08:00

Being humble.. its something that has helped me get along so many times. :)

I'm not the most confident person around, neither am I the best around.. but yet, we've reached the point in our lives where its no longer just about fun and games, but there're responsibilities that we carry, roles that we have to fulfill.

These responsibilities and roles, big or small.. they can take its toll sometimes. There are days when I wake up feeling like I want to hide, I just don't wish to do it anymore.. but yet when I remember who I am in Christ, what God has given to save me and the gifts He has placed upon my life, I would humble myself, and that gives me the strength to keep going on. :)

I believe that its not just good enough to know who we are in Christ.. but we've got to know who we are in Christ, in humility. Being a servant leader is what this Kingdom is all about. Serving others even though the situation doesn't feel right, putting the needs of others before ourselves, that's who God is..

Honestly, the thought of being this kind of leader can drain the life out of us.. but if we really know that God is there together with us, we can. :)

forgiveness

2011-07-29T05:28:00.002+08:00

Its time to forgive myself.. and move on. :)

melodies

2011-07-27T00:34:00.007+08:00

Many times these silent cries

Calls out to You with a desperate heart

Words to express seems so hard

Maybe it’s a battle for all eternity

So much to say, so much to express

Only You could see and touch that deepest cry

If words can’t express, at least I know one thing that can

Melodies, songs in my heart oh I’ll sing I’ll sing

Its You, its You that lifts the mountains

Its You, its You that braves the deepest seas

In my valleys Your presence lights these stormy paths

Its You my Savoir King

2011-07-24T01:31:00.003+08:00

here's a post for a friend.. :)

I guess many people don't know this, but I've had to battle with eczema for years. I caught it one day during my NS years, and it stayed ever since.

I remember.. when I first caught the eczema, I've never heard about such a thing before.. and the symptoms of eczema were really scary. The relentless itching, the pain after the itch.. the scars, and the embarrassment of having to expose those parts being affected were really terrible. Add to that, when I heard from the doctor that this sickness was something that would never heal naturally just added to the pain. I was really devastated at that time.

But along the way.. I've learnt that though this kind of sickness can't be healed, it can be managed. As I read up on eczema and other skin issues, I realized that there were medication and anti-biotics out there that can help get rid of the rashes every time they appeared.

These medications work. And the more you use them, the better it gets.. :) From time to time, the rashes still appear, but every time after applying medication, the rashes go away.

I believe yours would heal completely, its different from eczema. :) Even though its unbearable at times.. stick through it alright? Stay through the medication.. God brings healing through medication as well.. :)

Take care friend.. you'll get through this!! :)

Inspiration

2011-07-21T23:50:00.004+08:00

I thank God that we have the ability to inspire each other.. :)

Maybe that person doesn't have to be a very close or good friend, but sometimes, just by being who they are, just by showing that its possible to be that kind of person, that alone is enough to inspire and bring hope to someone else.

I thank God that I have friends like these in my life.. and I do wish that along the way, I would be able to inspire others in a similar way too.. :)

Emerge

2011-07-17T23:51:00.004+08:00

Thank God for emerge.. it was a really awesome time. :)

I'm happy for egg cousin, she did really well! And I'm glad that God was with us, with this team. Its really nice to hear compliments for her, and as well as for some other of my friends too. :):)

Maybe its gonna be my last emerge, but I'm glad to be a part of it.. and I don't believe in submerging after 25! :) We're gonna stay up, all the way until our life is almost up, then we submerge. :D

Thank You once again, all the glory belongs to You Abba. :)

I did my very best.

Every teardrop is a waterfall

2011-07-14T05:59:00.004+08:00

I turn the music up, I got my records on
I shut the world outside until the lights come on
Maybe the streets alight, maybe the trees are gone
I feel my heart start beating to my favorite song

And all the kids they dance, all the kids all night
Until Monday morning feels another life
I turn the music up
I'm on a roll this time
And heaven is in sight

I turn the music up, I got my records on
From underneath the rubble sing a rebel song
Don't want to see another generation drop
I'd rather be a comma than a full stop

Maybe I'm in the black, Maybe I'm on my knees
Maybe I'm in the gap between the two trapezes
But my heart is beating and my pulses start cathedrals in my heart

And we saw oh this light
I swear you, emerge blinking into to tell me it's alright
As we soar walls, every siren is a sympohny
And every tear's a waterfall
Is a waterfall
Oh
Is waterfall
Oh oh oh
Is a, is a waterfall
Every tear is a waterfall
Oh oh oh

So you can hurt, hurt me bad
But still I raise the flag

Oh
It was a wa wa wa wa wa-terfall
A wa wa wa wa wa-terfall

Every tear
Every tear
Every tear
Every tear
Every teardrop is a waterfall

Every tear
Every tear
Every teardrop is a waterfall

When You're here, every teardrop is a water fall.

hey friend..

2011-07-11T21:48:00.004+08:00

Dear Friend,

Thank you for reaching out.. even when I felt like I didn't deserve it anymore, you still did. I'm no longer afraid anymore, because I know this friendship is real. :) You're a true friend! :)

Eugene

Back Stabbing

2011-07-07T03:56:00.003+08:00

this is reality..

among school mates, among colleagues, among friends.. and *gasp* among church friends as well. :( It's happened so many times, and its funny how everyone seems to get along when they face each other, only for all the knives to be out when the other party's out of sight.

all of us are guilty of this to some degree, it's painful to watch when others are doing it, yet unknowingly, we fall into the trap of doing it ourselves too. But yet, where do we draw the line? when we're hurt, and we want someone to share our feelings to, how should we say things truthfully and honestly, without back stabbing others?

i guess, staying objective, and telling the truth in humility is the key.. its not as easy as it sounds though.

but at least, lets try. :)

getting up to speed

2011-06-30T03:29:00.003+08:00

I don't know why, but it always seems so hard to get up to speed after a holiday..

I love holidays, and its really great travelling to different places, meeting new people, taking the time to recharge and all. But somehow, every time when the holiday's over, going back to that responsibility of being a blessing to others just seems so hard. Maybe the law of momentum applies to more than just the physical realm huh? Sooo much static friction.. lol :P

I really don't like feeling this way.. but day by day, its getting better. I'll get there once again. :)

Walls

2011-06-21T17:09:00.002+08:00

Walls are meant to protect, to prevent enemies from getting in, to preserve our safety.

Sometimes, we build walls around our hearts too, to protect us where we've gotten hurt before, to prevent us getting the same "memorable" feelings again. But many times, the very same wall that was meant to protect us also enslaves us on the inside. It imprisons our thoughts, our minds, our feelings. These walls block out everything, the bad, as well as the good also.

I guess, when we get to know our Savior, something else happens. We no longer walk around needing a wall to protect us, but we go around with an extremely powerful body guard. Someone who's our rock, our shield, our protector. If we're willing to trust in Him, if we're willing to find the courage to bring down those walls with Him by our side, then truly we could experience life for what it really is. Even when bad things happen to us, the knowledge that there's forgiveness, love and peace can give us the courage to try again, to carry on.

Some say that we've got to find the right person to bring down those walls.. but the truth is, only we ourselves can, if we're able to find trust once again, we can. :)

hello!

2011-06-17T09:38:00.005+08:00

here's blogging from hong kong! :)

its been a pretty nice experience so far.. hk is sooo similar to singapore! :) from our mrts to their mtrs, our shopping centers, and even the way we dress and they dress, i guess you really couldn't tell a singaporean and someone from hongkong, unless you hear us speak i guess. haha.

The food here's really good. Their dim sums are huge and really nice.. even the sushi's packed in their super market's bigger than ours! haha. I guess there're still subtle differences, but something makes me wonder.. the past few cities I've been, like in taiwan, japan, even korea.. everything's becoming more and more alike. The world has become more similar in many ways. Its great for convinience, but in the end, it's really bad if we all just become copies of each other..

Oh well, that's for another day.. haha, I'll be coming back soon, cya all everyone! :)

a short break

2011-06-12T01:08:00.004+08:00

I'll be going to hong kong for a short trip next week! :)

I'm really looking forward to this short break away from our little island.. guess its a good time to rest, reflect and recharge too. :) Honestly its been a tough year, lots of challenges I would say, but its true that each challenge makes us slightly better, slightly wiser and slightly stronger too.

I just wish to say to a good friend.. I'm sorry.. :) I guess what goes around really comes around, I never thought what I shared with you the last time would happen to us as well.. but no matter, its nice to know what you think and what you feel, and I'm willing to take that step back to be at the same level too.. :) everything'll be okay.. I know it will. :)

thanks!

2011-06-08T20:06:00.004+08:00

Good friends are so important in our lives.. :)

I know many people have been concerned about me lately, seeing that my posts on facebook and twitter have been rather emo.. but I just want to say thanks for all the concern peeps.. :) I'm sorry that I couldn't share a lot sometimes, but just by being there, just by being concerned really helped make things better.

I don't think I'll be that emo anymore. :) It really helps once the truth is out there.. even though there are still so many unknowns, but nope, I'll be happy from now on. :) Thanks everyone, really thank you.. :)

getting ahead of ourselves

2011-06-01T12:24:00.003+08:00

sometimes I get ahead of myself. If I can just focus on things as they really are, I know everything will turn out okay. :)

Its all in Your hands. :)

Letting go

2011-05-27T05:01:00.002+08:00

Seeing the scenes today, thinking about events that has happened over the past few weeks.. I think its time to let go. :)

Because you're better than me, my friend. :)

still

2011-05-25T05:43:00.002+08:00

Sometimes there really isn't a need to say anything.

All we can do is wait.

Disappearing

2011-05-16T03:18:00.006+08:00

There's a part in the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" that men sometimes need to retreat into their little cave, to think things through and find solutions to their problems. Maybe its really true for us guys, that we do need that time to sort things out in our minds and hearts before finding the strength and confidence to come out again.

I'm sorry if I disappeared sometimes.. I'll find the strength to come out again. :)

Feelings

2011-05-08T16:24:00.007+08:00

Some say creative people think too much, some say they feel too much.. but I guess its what makes them who they are, to express feelings into languages other than words. This is what makes art unique, special, and something that reaches out to people. :)

8.07 am

2011-05-06T08:06:00.006+08:00

here I am, 8.07 am, waiting for my first paper to start.

I was just telling a friend yesterday, that I don't feel as well prepared as compared to last sem, but somehow I don't feel as nervous as last sem as well.. is it confidence or stupidity I wonder?

But looking back, maybe I've grown.. while I used to struggle in the past with studies, maybe I've gained a little bit of maturity in terms of being exam smart and all.

Lets see how this one turns out, but no matter what, I know I can trust in You. :)

The story of A and B.

2011-04-29T02:34:00.006+08:00

Here's a story of 2 people, person A and person B. :)

One day, A was going by, doing his daily stuff, when he came across B. B was someone that stood out, someone really pretty, someone really talented, and she seemed to have all the confidence in the world to be who she wanted to be. B, seeing that A was a new guy, came over to talk to A when they were on a bus trip home.

Now A was a shy, awkward person. He didn't know how to talk to people, let alone an attractive person like this. He was reaaallly nervous during the bus trip home, stuttering and stammering, thinking "oh I'm such a loser, what would she think of me?" But yet, somehow, B didn't shy away. Instead, she kept talking, she kept being interested in getting to know A. Finally it was the time for B to change a bus. A and B went home their separate ways that day.

Over the next few months, A got to know B a little better. B would always come over to say hi to A, and even though A still stuttered and stammered in front of her, she would never fail to joke and laugh things off, saying that she thought it was really funny and unique. It gave A the confidence to come out of his shell, a little bit at a time.

One day, A was thinking, "what is it about me that B would still want to come over and speak to me?", and he realized that B had a special way of looking at things. While most look and judge on the outer appearance of things, B would always try to dig deeper, she would want to find out beyond the surface, what things really are on the inside. When A realized this, he decided to try and make an effort to connect as a friend to B. Even though he was so afraid of falling, of being laughed at, he would still try.

As time went by, each meeting with B turned out better and better. With the growing friendship, A realized that he was growing more confident as a person as well. Before, he would stutter and stammer when ever he spoke, but now, A had the confidence to start expressing himself. When he found it hard to look into people's eyes in the past, he found himself daring to gaze, to open up that window for others to look into his heart. Even though A still struggles with nervousness, throughout this journey, he has learned to manage these fears, and he has become someone totally different from the one B first met.

A is grateful to B. Grateful for being such a faithful and patient friend. Without B, A would never have been the person he has turned out to be.

This is the story so far, of A and B. :)

Don't think you're not special.. you've made a big difference in someone's life. :)

Forgiveness

2011-04-26T16:53:00.005+08:00

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."

Forrest Gump

This phrase is so true.. :) In life, sometimes we meet people who're genuinely nice.. but sometimes we meet people who hurt us too, whether intentionally or not. There are times when I hold on to those hurts, trying to convince myself that it isn't true, trying to tell myself that I'm better than that, that in Christ, I'm a new creation.

So often, it weighs me down. These hurts feel like a really huge stone that seems to hold me back from being who I am, from having the freedom and peace that I know we're supposed to have.

But today, forgiveness came across my mind. :) When I made that decision to forgive the people behind those hurts, to lift it all up to my Abba so He could help me forget.. a peace just came, just like that. :)

Forgiveness in Christ, its a really powerful thing to have. :)

a special friend

2011-04-24T21:49:00.003+08:00

thank you, that's you. :)

Positiveness

2011-04-22T14:35:00.004+08:00

To my friend who asked me not to be too emo.. I'll think of these from now on!! :D

desperate hope.

2011-04-09T03:21:00.002+08:00

How can I act like everything's okay when its not? I really wish to be happy..

I know everyone has been asking me why I'm not attached and stuff. The truth is that if I'm not comfortable with who I am, how can I freely love my other half who would deserve so much more..?

I guess I'm still in the process of finding myself. It seems so hard to relate to people sometimes. Will I have a breakthrough in this area?

stand by me

2011-03-31T01:34:00.000+08:00

I'm really so tired.. would you stand by me?

smiles

2011-03-13T01:05:00.003+08:00

Feelings

2011-03-01T00:07:00.007+08:00

I don't know why, but the words seem to disappear in an instant sometimes..

Friends that bring hope.

2011-01-22T01:51:00.002+08:00

I had fun hanging out with friends that really matter yesterday. =)

Looking back, campus ministry has been an awesome blessing...from the friendships to the support, its really nice to have a group of friends who genuinely want you to succeed.

I guess there's a fine balance between being positively real and being a positive fake.

My campus ministry friends are definitely real. =)

the Stage

2011-01-04T03:50:00.004+08:00

Sometimes the stage has a way of making someone seem special..

but underneath all the glitz and glamor, is a normal person, just like everybody else.

Being Me

2010-12-13T01:44:00.003+08:00

Its a nice feeling, being who we are.

yup maybe the defects may show along the way, but as long as we stay humble and keep having an open heart towards change, the freedom and joy that comes with being who we are is simply priceless. =)

We are made in the Image and Likeness of God.

Falling

2010-12-05T00:46:00.003+08:00

I'm so scared to give, cause I'm afraid I'll fall again..

Will u pick me up when I fall?

being thankful

2010-09-17T01:41:00.002+08:00

In all things, I'll learn to give thanks to You, cause that's what waiting on You's all about. =)

The Accidental Couple a.k.a (That Fool)

2010-08-25T15:38:00.005+08:00

Its such a great show! =)

I guess so many kdramas have such sad endings, but this one's different. Sure there're a lot of touching moments, but they're touching not because its sad, but rather because there's so much love between the guy and the girl.

Its the kind of stuff that inspires us to be better people, better friends and better lovers too. =)

ps. if you're wondering where to watch this show, its currently playing on starhub channel 855 on weekends, or you could watch it on mysoju.com =)

The Good Life?

2010-07-29T00:16:00.002+08:00

On the surface, everything may look great and all..but yet on the inside, there're lots of battles to be fought and won.

There's a price to pay for the good life.

hugs of love

2010-07-18T20:59:00.005+08:00

It just feels really good to be embraced by friends who mean so much. =)

No turning back

2010-07-03T03:06:00.002+08:00

Will there be room for me to receive help and encouragement too..?

Yet, I guess once we've been in a position of leadership, the responsibility stays even when the title changes.

Its hard to turn back the clock on that..

Taiwan

2010-06-18T00:04:00.002+08:00

Taiwan was great!

I loved the FOOD, the shopping, the people..but most importantly meeting up again with friends who're important to me. =)

Thanks Cerise, Anita, it was great meeting up with the both of you again. =)

Standing Firm

2010-06-04T09:52:00.013+08:00

These recent days, I've been told:

"You've got to make others work for you."

"You've got to make sure they don't take advantage of you."

"Sometimes you've got to scold whatever $*#@#*@* language when you speak with them also."

I guess its a huge learning curve, and granted, there's so much I've got to learn when dealing with the marketplace also.

But these values in the working society are so different from the values we learn in church and all. Is there a better way to do things? Yes, I think so.

There's such a thing called servant leadership. And rather than making people work out of fear, it'll help others to want to work with you, and it'll make you want to work together with them also.

I won't have much more time left in my internship company, but if there's something I'll like to leave with them, it's this. Lets hope I can. =)

Growth

2010-05-22T04:26:00.002+08:00

How we've grown.. =)

I was just browsing through my previous posts, as in those that I posted years ago. Haha, I simply can't imagine myself using those kinda words to type any blog posts now. But yea, it was great memories though...

I guess as we experience more things in life, we become a little wiser, a little smarter, a little stronger. =)

Peace and Joy

2010-05-19T00:01:00.006+08:00

haha, really sweet stuff.. =)

okay, anyway everything's been better, much better now. I haven't felt such peace and joy since I dunno when..but yup, thank you Partner. =)

Ever since SOT ended, its been one thing after the next. Responsibilities seemed to be piling up like never before and I guess I crumbled under the weight of it all. It's been such a humbling period...

Yet along the way, I've learnt to trust in Jesus more. When I had come to the end of myself, the only way I could go on was through faith, and God's always faithful, He always is. =) God just reminded me of a verse in the bible:

⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. ⁶But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.⁷ For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; ⁸ he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

James 1: 5-8

I guess I was double minded (or maybe triple and quadruple minded =P) all this time, and the key to being single minded was to focus on one responsibility at a time. Maybe things aren't perfect yet, but at least now I know I'm on the right track. =)

I wish I'll continue to grow...and I know I'm not alone, because Your love for me's this much. =)

Its awesome to see you smiling again. =)